Parents Suggested Their Daughter Skip Hanukkah Gifts This Year
From Redditor u/TAHolidayBattles:
I (58M) have three children. My daughter Marie (28) and my Son Frank (25M) are from my first wife, and I have a son Chris (7M) with my new wife. All fake names. I admit, that Chris is a little spoiled and used to getting his way. Marie got married two years ago and her husband is Jewish. She celebrates Hanukkah with him and his son “John” (8M) and family. John lives with them full time as his mom is not in the picture. They also come to see us for Christmas (Which would be via zoom this year).
So we usually do the 4 gift rule when it comes to Christmas since Chris tends to get stuff throughout the year. Well, he came home from school last week saying how a kid in his class is Jewish and he gets a present every night of Hanukkah and how it wasn’t fair that he was getting 8 presents and he only got four. I pointed out that he also got things throughout the year and that I wasn’t sure if the gifts were even that good. He started complaining that John was going to get 8 gifts and then whatever we got him, and he was only going to get 4 and whatever they got him. I said it didn’t actually matter, but I ended up having to send him to his room to calm down.
I called Marie and asked if they could maybe skip Hanukkah gifts this year because it upset Chris so much knowing that John was going to have so many more gifts than him. She said no, they had already bought all his gifts and considering Chris wasn’t even going to see what he got, it shouldn’t be a big deal. I admit I got a little frustrated and said it wouldn’t kill her to do something that could help her brother. She told me that Chris was being a spoiled brat about gifts and it wouldn’t be helping him to deny John his gifts they spent time and energy picking out just so he wouldn’t throw a tantrum. I lost my temper and said she wasn’t even his real mom so I wasn’t sure why she was picking some kid she wasn’t even related to over her brother. I regret saying that. She blew up and the short of it is, I’m a terrible person, she has no interest in helping spoil Chris anymore than he already is, and she will not be celebrating via zoom with us this year and does not want to hear from me again anytime soon.
I shouldn’t have said what I did, I admit that, but she hung up before I could apologize. Now Mark is on my case saying that I need to stop babying Chris and that he wouldn’t be seeing us either because if he or Marie had acted like Chris acts I’d have punished them. I’m frustrated and my wife says she understood my heart was in the right spot, but it was kind of unreasonable to ask them not to celebrate Hanukkah because Chris felt slighted. I don’t really think I was so wrong to ask, but maybe it was unreasonable. I don’t think my kids should be this angry at me though. It was suggested I post here, so was I really such an a**hole for this?
Their Wife Wants To Boycott Christmas Over Stockings
From Redditor u/Throwra53456:
My mom has a tradition for every Christmas… to get custo[m] stockings of her grandchildren’s names… and hang those stockings near the fireplace.
My wife and I have been together for three years. She has a son (my stepkid) from her former marriage. When she found out about the tradition [my] mom has, she said she expects my stepson to get his own custom stocking… I asked my mom and she said that she loves her stepgrandchild but does not feel comfortable yet to have a stocking of his name and [h]ang it in her home. Apparently, my wife refused to drop it and chose it as a hill to die on, and even told me she would not be attending [the] Christmas party if [my] mom doesn’t do it.
We started arguing about it for days. I finally blew up and told her it was not reasonable for me or her to dictate how my mom decorates her home and what stockings she hangs. She started crying and called me “blind” for not seeing how my family are treating my stepson. I said they love him and a… stocking isn’t going to prove anything. She said she wouldn’t go then, and I called her ridiculous for deciding not to go over something so trivial.
We have been in conflict about it since then and she’s refusing to even speak to me.
AITA for saying that it was ridiculous for her to decide not to go over some stockings?
My stepson’s age is 9.
They’re Banning Alcohol From Christmas
From Redditor u/omom2122:
My husband’s family likes to drink. Every holiday includes multiple bottles of wine/cocktails. I hate drinking – I have never drank. My father was an alcoholic. I think it’s childish if you can’t have fun without drinking.
This year I’m hosting Christmas for a change. I decided since it’s at my house, no alcohol allowed. We are all getting older and it’s time to grow up.
My husband’s sister called to ask what she could bring. She saw a recipe for a Christmas martini that she wanted to bring. I told her about my no alcohol rule. She didn’t say much but must have told the rest of the family. Some of them started texting me asking me if I was serious and saying that it is lame. But I’m not budging.
Now it turns out my husband’s sister is hosting an alternate gathering that almost everyone is choosing to go to instead. It’s so disrespectful, all because they would have to spend one day sober.
My husband told me he talked to his sister and we are invited to her gathering, and… we should just go and stop causing issues. But I won’t; it’s so rude.
Now [my] husband is mad because I’m making him stay home and spend Christmas with me, but it was my turn to host and I chose to have… no alcohol. They could have dealt with it for one year.
Son Holds His College Fund Over His Dad’s Head For The Holidays
From Redditor u/ThrowRA532255:
…I (M23) had issues with my dad after my mom died and my stepmom came along. I hated a lot of decisions that were made, but what has left a long-lasting impact was taking my college fund to pay for my stepbrother’s surgeries. Unfortunately, he’s dead (died last year at the age of 16 from a chronic heart problem). I put my distance but still see my grandparents and uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.
With the holiday season coming up, [my] dad started talking to me through some relatives – close relatives. He went on about his overwhelming feelings of loneliness, his upcoming divorce, and invited me to spend Christmas with him because he’s alone and heartbroken. As a response, I told him I’ll GLADLY spend Christmas with him if he gives back my college fund in [the] form of a Christmas gift. He and the others didn’t like my response. He thought this was harsh and my relatives said that I was a judgmental, petty, greedy a**hole to say this to him after he’s lost so much. They said he did all he could to save his stepson’s (my stepbrother’s) life, which they described as “noble” and that he doesn’t owe me a thing. I went home after a big argument with my uncle who came at me for what I said.
Now I feel like s***. Maybe I should’ve just calmly, politely declined the invite and not said this to him and made him feel guilty for how he handled my stepbrother’s situation.
EDIT I just took a look and I see that I’m getting a s***load of comments here. To answer [a] few questions:
The fund was made by my dad; [my] mom was a sahm [stay-at-home-mom] and didn’t work, but they both agreed that this fund would go towards my education. I was able to get [into] college. I started working to pay my way and had some relatives help, but my uncle did so much for me, which is why I said felt like s*** when he berated me. He holds a special place in my life and he’s the last person I want to disappoint or let down.
EDIT2 Okay, for those who are saying the fund wasn’t mine. Whose fund was it then? LMFAO I really don’t get this; maybe you can expand on how exactly the fund wasn’t mine and to whom it belonged? Also, for those that think that I’m being cruel to my dad after he lost so much, I try not to go out of my way to be mean or malicious. Matter of fact, I want little to nothing to do with him, but all this time I’ve been playing nice to please my uncle and relatives, but that’s it.
They Won’t Buy Their 5-Year-Old Nephew A Christmas Gift
From Redditor u/Happy-Uncle:
My parents were very busy. I have 6 siblings. I am second oldest. Me and my older brother have no contact for about 8 years. He lived in another country with his wife and 5 year old son. This year they moved back to our country. They always spent Christmas with his wife’s parents and then came to our parents the next day without me present.
A couple of years back I had a tragedy and got a lot for compensation. I invested and am now living very good from passive income. For the last 3 years I buy all the gifts for Christmas for my nephews and nieces. My siblings give me their letters for Santa and I go all out. I absolutely love seeing them when they open the gifts.
I already got all the letters this year and have all the gifts ready. But then last week my mother wanted to give me another letter. She said its from my nephew from my oldest brother. I was surprised, but then told her that I wont buy anything for him. I dont even know him and I am not prepared to spend that much on stranger kid. My parents then told me that we cant single him out. That he would be very sad seeing other kids opening gifts and him not getting anything. I told them they can buy the gifts, and maybe my siblings will chip in. My mother started crying that they cant match my gifts and bagged me to reconsider. I refused. I am hurt even because I just found out that my brothers family will be with us for Christmas.
Now they are text bombing me that I’m ruining Christmas. My partner said that maybe we should buy gifts for my nephew. That he is innocent and one more smile wont hurt.AITA if I refuse?
They Blew Up On Their Mom About A Holiday Present
From a former Redditor:
Happy Hanukkah, y’all.
I am 25F, and I live in an apartment with my fiance (27F). I recently went home to visit family for Thanksgiving, during which my mom gave me a bag of a few presents to open on Hanukkah!
Well, Hanukkah came around, and when I opened one of my presents, it was one of those “popping” toys that kids love nowadays, those rubber things with the buttons. I see 6-year-olds in my neighborhood carrying these things around. Let me reiterate: I am 25 years old.
Now, this wouldn’t be so bad… if my mom didn’t have a very long history of treating me like a small child. For example, last Hanukkah, she got me and my partner sparkly bouncy-balls as gifts and it was super weird. Often, she speaks to/about me like I’m in elementary school. It’s so upsetting; I feel like she sees me as an idiot. Despite the fact that I have a very well-paying job, my own apartment, and a wedding coming up, she still refuses to acknowledge that I am a capable adult.
Taking all this into account, the kiddie gift really made me angry! I called her and asked, “Was this supposed to be for one of my little cousins??” I continued by telling her these kinds of gifts are for literal children, and it wasn’t appropriate for her to give to her adult daughter. She didn’t have much to say except a quiet, Jjust give it back, I’ll give it to somebody else.”
Some would say “it’s the thought that counts,” so I do feel bad about telling her how greatly I disliked the gift. It wasn’t exactly great holiday gift etiquette… But I’m sick and tired of this constant babying behavior.
I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but also she hurt my feelings… AITA?
Employee Waited Until The Last Minute To Put Up Christmas Decorations
From Redditor u/DecemberHolidays:
Part of my job is decorating the lobby. I put up pictures of Rosa Parks and informational posters about the history of segregation laws and civil disobedience on December [1]. When I took them down that night, one of the residents asked if I was about to start putting up Christmas decorations and offered to help. I said I wasn’t, and nothing was going up until the day of remembrance for Pearl Harbor.
She nodded solemnly and asked if I was putting Christmas decorations up on the 8th then. I said I wasn’t. Hanukkah decorations are going up [o]n the 18th and Christmas stuff on the 24th. That’s all I’m planning for December, but she can put something in the suggestion box if there’s something else she wants to celebrate.
She was really upset and asked why I hate Christmas and am trying to ruin the Christmas season. I said I wasn’t, but since Hanukkah starts first, it doesn’t make sense to put up Christmas decorations before Hanukkah. She said it does because Christmas is a major holiday and Hanukkah a minor one. I just shrugged and said that sounds overcomplicating. Christmas stuff will be up on the 24th [through] January 5.
She said she was going to complain to the property manager. Now I’m worried. Am I the a**hole?
They Brought Their Own Food To Christmas Dinner
From Redditor u/HecklerusPrime:
My stepmom has decided she wants to host my entire family for Christmas dinner. None of us have really seen each other since COVID began, but we’re all double or triple vaccinated and figured it’s time to see each other again. So she invited everyone over and made it out to be a real big thing. It’s about 20 people.
Today she sent a text to everyone saying that dinner will be ham sandwiches on white bread with a side of green bean casserole.
Ham. Sandwiches.
It’s the first time we’ve all been together for two years and the best she has is ham sandwiches?! Not the Christmas dinner I would ever ask for, to say the least. [She] and my dad collectively make over $200,000 and they have almost no debt, so it isn’t like she’d break the bank getting a better quality meal. But maybe there’s some other reason, like maybe she just doesn’t want to cook for 20 people. That’s fair.
So I offered to bring a meal, namely smoked salmon with loaded mashed potatoes and roasted balsamic Brussel[s] sprouts. She turned it down, saying she didn’t want me to have to work that much (side note: smoking one salmon fillet vs. 20 is almost no difference in prep; ditto for smashing taters and roasting sprouts). Then I said maybe we could do a potluck instead. She again declined and said she was happy to provide the meal for everyone.
Ham sandwiches are like something for lunch on a summer boat day or spring picnic. This is freaking Christmas, the celebration of the Christian lord and savior Jesus Christ (if you believe in that – I don’t, but it still lends a gravity to the day). Like, I’m not religious but if I was having people over for Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or something I wouldn’t be like, “OKat folks, here’s your Kraft grilled cheese and Campbell’s tomato soup.”
My wife feels the same way. So we’re planning on bringing food anyway for ourselves. No one else in the family chat expressed any interest and seemed okay with the sandwiches, so we’ll probably just bring enough for ourselves. No one knows our plan yet, but my wife is super worried… my stepmom will get pissed at us. I think… that you forfeit the right to be upset if someone won’t eat the meal you very obviously didn’t slave over. I mean, if it was boat day and she made ham sammies but I brought a leftover steak for myself she wouldn’t get upset (been there, done that), so why would she now?
So the question is, are we the a**holes for refusing to eat ham sandwiches for Christmas dinner and bringing our own meals instead?
Edit: I should clarify. This isn’t the first or only time this happened. It’s always ham sandwiches. Easter? Ham sammies. Birthdays? Ham sammies. Grandpa died? Yup, ham sammies. After a lifetime of ham sammies, I just want something different. I know it’s her go-to “I don’t want to put work in” meal. Which normally, fine, whatever. But in the context of making a big deal about seeing everyone for Christmas… it just seems really not great and very uninspired. If it’s such a big deal, why treat it like every other regular gathering?
But I hear you guys. IATA for bringing separate food to a party, especially after asking for alternatives and being refused. We’ll probably eat beforehand, just say we’re not that hungry, and lightly snack on chips or something.
They Put Conditions On Their Mother-In-Law Staying For The Holidays
From Redditor u/termsandcondition20:
My MIL is going through a separation with her husband (my wife’s stepdad). As a result, she has moved out of their house and is currently bouncing around from family member to family member. She’s been doing this for about six months. She’s stayed with us for about two months of that time, spread out over three visits. This has caused some stress on our marriage as I don’t do well with extra people in my living space. But my wife feels bad for her mom because she was fully dependent on stepdad and doesn’t have a job or a place of her own anymore.
For Xmas this year, we were going to spend Xmas Eve with my wife’s family at my wife’s aunt’s house and then come home and spend Xmas Day at our house as a family. But now my MIL has asked my wife if she can come home with us after Xmas Eve and spend some more time with us over the holidays.
I told my wife that spending Xmas Day at home as a family, alone, was her idea and we agreed on it together. But she said she doesn’t want her mom to be alone on Xmas. I told her that her mom was planning on staying at the aunt’s place, but is only now wanting to come home with us. It started to turn into an argument about MIL needing to get her life figured out, and my wife told me to stop fighting about that because that part isn’t important and she just wants her mom to feel like she’s still part of a family during Xmas.
So, I eventually relented and said that MIL can come with us for Xmas, but I have conditions. I said that MIL can come home with us if she agrees to watch our two kids for New Year’s weekend so that my wife and I can go do something fun with some friends, or alone, if we want to. Get a hotel or Airbnb, who knows.
My wife said that her mom is not a free babysitter and that we can’t expect her to just watch our kids for us whenever we want. I told her that if MIL isn’t a babysitter, then we aren’t a hotel, and if she’s going to keep going from house to house being dependent on people, she’s going to have to pull her weight if it’s going to be our house she’s staying in.
My wife said she won’t ask her mom to babysit our kids for free for an entire weekend, so I said in that case, she and MIL can stay home with the kids and I will find something fun I want to do for New Year’s weekend by myself.
My wife said I am being selfish and that MIL is going through a hard time in her life and she needs family support. She said I am being a jerk by making that support conditional on MIL doing things for us instead of just doing it because we want what’s best for her. She said that if I leave to do something on my own for New Year’s, then I will have to be the one to explain to our kids why I am not there to bring in the new year with them.
I told her that I have no problem talking to our kids about that, but I won’t tell them the whole truth that their mom is putting MIL ahead of our family and relationship. She called me an AH and has been cold with me ever since.
They Told Their Friend To Not Send A Christmas Card From Her Baby
From Redditor u/TheMonsterKingTyphon:
I am a happily child-free adult. Babies have always made me super uncomfortable. I don’t like looking at them, being in their presence, or really hearing about them. I used to have panic attacks if I had to be near a baby or toddler, even for a minute or two. If a baby or toddler touched me, I’d freak out and have to go wash off a few layers of skin. I don’t know what caused such an intense reaction, but it’s always been like this. I’ve been working on at least being more cordial and tolerant with babies and toddlers to the point that I no longer have panic attacks. However, they still make me very uncomfortable and I don’t want anything to do with them.
I have a friend (we’ll call her Sally) who knows that I do not like babies and how uncomfortable they make me. Sally had a baby several months back. I was polite and congratulated her. Ever since, every so often, she’ll randomly message me about her baby. She’ll start with “I know you don’t like babies, but…” and then send pictures of her baby, tell me about toys or clothes she bought for her baby, etc. I usually reply in brief messages like “Nice” or “Okay” and leave it at that. I don’t want to be mean, so I just give the minimal response. I delete photos immediately (usually our conversations too) cause I’m not interested. Sally and I are not, nor have we ever been, close friends.
Recently, Sally posted in a group chat we’re both [a part of] asking for people’s addresses if they want to receive a Christmas card from her baby (that’s how she worded it). I figured if I didn’t fill out the document that would be an easy nonconfrontational way to ensure I would not be receiving baby pictures in the mail. Unfortunately, Sally messaged me privately today asking for my address so she could send a Christmas card, so my silent opt-out is no longer an option.
Will I be the a**hole if I tell her I don’t want a Christmas card from her baby and to please stop sending me photos and updates about said baby?
They Won’t Allow Their Sister To Make Her Kids’ Food While At Her House
From Redditor u/Suspicious-Cat1021:
I come from a broken home so we have our Christmas with [my] mom’s side the first weekend of December. I (44 M) hosted; usually my sister and I switch off host duties.
My sister has two daughters who are incredibly picky eaters at 18 and 15 years old. My sister would come to family parties with a box of pasta and a bag of frozen chicken tenders that she will make for her daughters.
I want to know if I’m an a**hole for what I did here. I knew that is her drill with them, but I’ve always found it to be very annoying especially when I’m trying to cook and she’s taking up space making the pasta and chicken tenders.
This year I told my wife we will not be letting my sister in the kitchen… and the girls will have the choice of eating what I prepared or not eating. My sister accused me of being a cynic and getting joy from watching the girls be uncomfortable. I told her they are old enough to eat like adults.
Also the food I make is pretty standard. I do a fillet roast, barbecue ribs, cheesy potatoes, stuffed artichoke, breaded cauliflower, ratatouille, and a salad. Certainly some of these must be foods that an 18- and 15-year-old should be able to eat. Well, the girls sat and ate bread and butter while telling me that my food looked gross. I looked to my sister to calm them down, but [s]he told me I deserved this and it’s not their fault for being picky eaters.
I know I could have just let my sister do her thing, but it was the principle of the situation. I’m not sure if I was being a petty a**hole or if I had a legitimate reason to be upset.
Edit: There are no medical conditions or food allergies.
Edit: I made it clear to my sister in advance that I would not be allowing this. She decided not to listen.
Edit 3: I did not anticipate this blow-up. I am willing to compromise. If the girls really won’t try new things my sister can make their food at home and bring it.
They Lied To Their Wife About The Company Christmas Party
From Redditor u/CarobOk161:
I feel like s*** right now but here we go.
I work for a pretty pretentious company where everyone tries to kiss the boss’s a**. We have a huge holiday party every year. It is always a fancy venue, cocktail attire, and great food. When I first started working there it was something I was excited to take my wife to, but it is now something I dread.
My wife gets herself so stressed over it that she is miserable for weeks leading up to it. She agonizes over what to wear, always goes over budget, and spends the whole day on hair and makeup. Then when we get there she honestly embarrasses me (and again i feel like s***). Every year she tries so hard to befriend my boss’s wife who clearly wants nothing to do with her and literally looks at her husband like save me. I always feel my boss is laughing at me. Then she spends the next couple days making fun of my boss’s wife and calling her a b*tch, which I’m terrified is going to get back to them, because you know how gossip works. It’s all very hard for me to watch
I have tried to talk to her about her behavior, but she gets defensive and nothing changes. This year I just couldn’t take it. I told her there wasn’t going to be a party, just a lunch during the workday for employees only. My plan was to go alone and make an excuse for her. I hate lying but I felt I’d given her multiple chances to change her behavior, so what am I going to do. At this point she is hurting my career and hurting herself mentally.
Unfortunately she found out and is obviously furious. She feels I took away a huge night from her, and is very hurt that I am embarrassed by her behavior.
They Won’t Change The Christmas Hike For Their Son’s Girlfriend
From Redditor u/ViolinistOk9892:
Ever since I can remember, our family has always gone on a hike the morning of Christmas. We did it all through my childhood, my husband’s family did it, my friend’s families are similar, though for some it’s just a walk, or some go into the city and do an easy 5K or 10K run.
My son… has been dating [his girlfriend] for the past six months. I’m happy she’s going to join us. They’re coming from the city about three hours away so they’ll be staying overnight. I’ve met [her] before and think she’s a great match for [my son]. I know there’s all that hoopla about the MIL/DIL dynamic and I just have no time for any of that. If [my son] likes her and she treats him with kindness, and he the same, who am I to complain.
I Skyped with them on Thanksgiving, just making plans for who’s bringing what for Christmas, gifts and such, and I mentioned that she should remember to bring her hiking boots but we’ll have plenty of Yaktrax if the trails are icy. She was visibly confused and asked what for, so I explained. She got quiet and asked if she had to. I said no, of course she doesn’t have to, but we’ve always done this and I was surprised [my son] didn’t mention it.
The next day, [my son] called, and explained that [his girlfriend[ is not in great shape and would struggle with keeping up, even on one of the easier trails nearby. He said that maybe we can just do a nice short family walk in the neighborhood this year so she feels more welcome.
I said that maybe the two of them can hang back and enjoy a nice quiet morning before the festivities begin while the rest of us go for the hike. I remember being young with [my son’s] father and how special those early Christmas mornings always were. Plus this will be her first time with the family and it’s going to be a LOT.
[My son] got annoyed and said I’m not not hearing him. He said that he really thinks we need to cut the hike down or make different plans.
I told him in return that this is a family tradition that goes back for years, and changing it for one person isn’t fair to the rest of the family. We’re at a stalemate. I even said that if they hang back for the morning, I’d be happy to go on a nice walk with [them] later in the day during a quiet moment. He said I’m still not hearing him.
AITA for not being willing to downgrade the hike to a little stroll around the neighborhood?
Her Sister-In-Law Was Mad That She Agreed To Host Christmas This Year
From a former Redditor:
My (29F) family consists of me, my mum, stepdad, and his four sons (everyone has partners). This story concerns the oldest son, [“Greg”] (32M), and his partner [“Fiona”] (30F).
In our family, I host most of the family gatherings, because my house is big enough to accommodate everyone staying over. Now, I don’t particularly enjoy hosting. The cost is astronomical, it takes a long time to plan, and it’s quite stressful. However, I have no problem doing it, and I know that everyone enjoys it, and I certainly prefer being at home. There are upsides, but my point is, hosting is not something I jump at the chance to do.
This year, however, [Fiona] asked if they could host Christmas. Nobody was keen on this, as their house is very small, no one would be able to stay over so a good chunk of the day would be spent driving (so there would be no drinking for some), the kitchen is tiny so cooking for so many people wouldn’t be simple, and they don’t have a table large enough to accommodate us all. Despite all this, on the spot no one could think of a polite way to say no, so we all sort of went along with it.
A few days ago, [Fiona] sent round a group text asking if everyone would be all right bringing something to Christmas, a food dish of some sort, as their oven wasn’t large enough to cook everything from scratch, and if we all brought something to warm up, that would be easier. Later on in our family group chat (parents and siblings only), my other stepsiblings said it would have been better if I hosted Christmas. Even [Greg] agreed and said [Fiona] was totally stressed out about the planning. At this point, my mum suggested maybe I should take it over, since that would take the stress off everyone and save them all a drive. Everyone jumped on the idea and practically begged me to do it. [Greg[ said he’d talk to [Fiona] about it since everyone else was in agreement, and I said okay.
I heard nothing more about it until last night, when [Fiona] sent me a long message, and she was furious. She said I should have refused hosting when asked, because I knew how important it was to her (which I didn’t). She accused me of ruining her chance to finally be part of the family, and of lobbying to host Christmas so that I could embarrass her, which is not true. I tried to explain to her that I was just trying to make everything easier for everyone, and that I didn’t offer, I was asked, but it was a bit vague because I was trying not to throw everyone else under the bus. Eventually she just stopped replying. I really thought I was at least saving [Fiona] and everyone else a bit of stress, but a couple of my friends say I should have let her sink or swim on her own, since she was so adamant about hosting. So, AITA?
EDIT: I’m seeing a lot of comments about the actual dinner, re hosting and cost, so just thought I’d clarify. I’ve only started hosting the last few years. My mum and stepdad hosted and paid for every family gathering for over a decade, and had I said no to doing it this year, they would be. The cost of hosting Christmas is large, yes, but it’s not an insurmountable financial burden, and I’m not being taken advantage of by hosting. My parents have done it in the past, extended family has abroad as well – it’s not an unequal thing.
Regarding [Fiona] co-hosting at my home, this was not something I’d ever encountered until today. We normally have events catered or partially catered, but a number of you suggested [Fiona] could come and cook at my home, as that would allow her some “hosting,” and that’s certainly something I will consider discussing with her and [Greg].
Girlfriend Broke Her Boyfriend’s Family Christmas Tree
From Redditor u/throwaway910882:
I (18F) was invited to a late Thanksgiving… with my boyfriend’s (19M) family. It was a lovely late Thanksgiving gathering because me and my boyfriend spent Thanksgiving apart, so his family made a second gathering so they can invite other relatives too.
This gathering was located at his mother’s house, which he is visiting. When we went in, there was this beautiful, fully decorated, around 14-foot tree, that was put up on the first of November.
It was lit up and had many ornaments; it was beautiful decor. We all ate and conversed – it was great! Until, it wasn’t.
They have this huge poodle who is the cutest thing, but is too hyper. I was sitting on the sofa talking to my boyfriend’s sister.
I was playing with the dog, got given treats from his father and was walking with them. The dog took the whole pack of treats out of my hand, so I ran to get it. No one was in the main room at this point and his sister went to go freshen up. I was chasing the poodle when the poodle went behind the tree. I followed, I ran, and the light wires wrapped around my feet. I tripped, the light wires tightened on the tree and it fell backwards. It didn’t fall all the way and it just landed on the wall. But the ornaments fell off and it was a mess.
Three people came running because it made the most embarrassing sound that could be heard by anyone nearby. I was beside the tree that was now crooked backwards, and the mother came and started gasping. My boyfriend checked on me, but the mother was distraught… for the tree (I still can’t believe this).
The men started to put it back in place even though it was heavy and the mother was still in a frenzy. I apologised, [and] asked her if she needed compensation for any damage. My bf told me that it’s fine and I left with my boyfriend..
I was really close with his mother but now she hasn’t even responded to my message.
AITA?
She Gave Away All Of Their Christmas Presents
From Redditor u/Hoopshooter044:
Even though this happened during Christmas, I’m asking because this incident came back up in a recent fight between me and my husband.
So, it all started when [I] (31F) and my husband (47M) were driving to his work Christmas party. On the way there we got started talking about Christmas plans and presents when my husband turns, looks at me, and says, “Sorry, but you’re not going to have a very good Christmas this year.” Mind you, my husband makes very good money. Not only that, but a couple days before that he told me not to buy him anything for Christmas because he was going to buy himself $2,000 motorcycle wheels for Christmas.
I was naturally caught off guard by him saying that since he just said he was buying himself an expensive gift, so I said, “Well, that kind of hurts my feelings.” My husband then proceeds to yell and cuss at me, telling me I’m the most selfish person in the world for getting upset by what he said. He then tells me I’m a spoiled brat because he just bought us a cabin two months ago (this is a rental property). I eventually have to tell him to either stop yelling at me, or I’m getting out of the car and walking. He decided to stop yelling, and we go to the Christmas party acting “fake happy” since he’s the main boss over the two companies.
Fast forward a few days later and my husband and I and our two kids are headed to the cabin we just bought to spend Christmas there. Everything is going great until Christmas Eve. We put the kids to bed, and we are about to set out all of their Christmas presents when once again my husband tells me, “Sorry, you won’t have a good Christmas this year.” Okay… Now I’m annoyed… Because not only is this my husband’s new cabin too, but he also bought himself those $2,000 wheels, and I decided to get him some nice Christmas presents as well because I like doing that. So I once again said, “I don’t know why you just said that. It hurts my feelings when you say that.” My husband then starts yelling and cussing so much that the kids can hear, resulting in me crying. He then looks at me and says, “I don’t know why you’re crying when you’re the f***ing selfish one. I don’t want any of the presents you bought for me. I’m returning them all when we get back.”
He then leaves the room… and in a fit of bitter rage and sadness I grabbed all the presents I bought for him and the couple he bought for me and drove downtown and handed them all to random people on the street and wished them a Merry Christmas. I came back and my husband asked where the presents were. I told him, “Since you think I’m so selfish, and you also don’t want the presents I bought you, “I decided to give them away to less selfish people and people who would actually want them.” So…
AITA for giving away all of mine and my husband’s Christmas presents to random people??
They Didn’t Make Their Usual Christmas Gift Because Of What Happened Last Year
From Redditor u/Internal-Avocado-330:
…For the past three Christmases, I always give everyone fruit preserves. I make homemade marmalade and jam of all kinds; it’s one of my hobbies and I even sell them online. I try to only give people ones that are made from fruits that they like. I only give them to adults; I get the children different things.
Last year, my sister got engaged and married to… “Kevin.”
Last Christmas, Kevin complained when I gave him and my sister a box of jars of different kinds of fruit preserves for Christmas. He said that it is tacky and trashy for me to give them as a gift in front of the whole family. It was very embarrassing. Edit: By this I meant he complained in front of the whole family. He complained about the gift itself.
However, he still ate them… and my sister even mentioned to me that he really likes my jam and that it’s better than store ones.
I’m wondering if I would be the a**hole if I didn’t give Kevin any fruit preserves for Christmas this year because he complained about them last year. I think it might be petty or childish for me to do that but I really do not want to hear him complain about it again.
Their Parents Spent $3,000 On Their Sister’s Present
From Redditor u/treefarmer3000:
To preface, my whole life my parents have always spent more on my sister (15) than me (19). In the past she’s struggled with mental health problems, and my parents, not really knowing how to help her, resorted to buying her things in order to keep her happy. I’ve always been a pretty low-key kid, never really asking for things, pretty independent from a young age, and financially independent since I was about 16.
A prime example of this was last year for my birthday I didn’t really expect much in the gift department, so my parents bought me my favorite shampoo and conditioner and some concert tickets, all totaling around $150. Then the next day my dad went and bought my sister a $500 guitar because she was dealing with the same mental health problems she has in the past. I expressed a bit of sadness, but O didn’t really get too upset over that.
Onto my main problem. This year for Christmas I just asked my parents to not get me any actual gifts, just give me cash. This is because I’m moving… in a month and can’t really take a whole lot with me. I’m not expecting a large amount of cash by any means. I just said, “Spend on me the amount you’d spend on the rest of my siblings.” They said it would be about $400, which I’m so happy with!! With me moving and going to college soon (I took a gap year to work) that $400 is going to help out so much! Then my sister decided that for Christmas she wanted a $3,000 guitar and my parents said they would get it for her. She said it would be a good investment since her guitar teacher said it would be worth more than $20,000 in about Five years. she said even though it’s expensive, it’s more of an investment than a gift.
I got mad and argued with both my parents and my sister saying that it wasn’t fair that me and the rest of my siblings (there are six kids total) are only getting around $300-$400 worth of stuff and she’s getting a $3,000 present. In the argument I asked why they were spending so much on her when I haven’t ever asked for much. I have to pay for my own college, and for my senior trip earlier, I spent $4,000 of my own money to go on a humanitarian trip. I didn’t expect them to pay for any of that. They did pay $750 towards my senior trip, which i was grateful for, but that’s nothing compared to this gift they’re planning on getting her.
My sister’s argument in return was, “That was a trip, this is an investment, so that’s why they’re getting it for me.” I think that makes zero sense. My parents were also saying that my sister “needs more material things to be happy,” which I thought was a BS argument because I think anyone would be happy if someone gave them a $3,000 gift.
In her defense, my sister is way more high-maintenance than I am and definitely functions better when given more, but I still don’t think it’s fair to me or my siblings that my parents are spending so much more on her.
Ughh. Anyway, I know this is such a First World problem and this totally made me sound like a pretentious kid, but aita in this sitatuation for being mad??
They Didn’t Ask Their Boyfriend Before They Got A Tattoo
From Redditor u/zoozeevee:
Anyone who knows me knows I’m a lover of ALL things Nightmare Before Christmas. I have a Jack and Sally piece on my back and recently I got an Oogie Boogie on my leg… I had mentioned it to him and showed him a picture… and he didn’t say anything except maybe something like, “Wow.”
Mr. Revenge’s 2018 Oogie Boogie Inktober Sketch
I text my boyfriend that I was doing a thing and he guessed it was a tattoo. I told him he knew me so well. Ever since then he had been distant and we hadn’t talked on the phone for a week.
He finally called me… and we started to catch up on world events and then I brought up my tattoo. I told him I had been sad because we hadn’t talked and I thought he had gotten mad at my tattoo. He replied with, “Yes, I am!” and full-on exploded.
He said it was vile and repulsive, that he couldn’t believe I chose something like that to represent me, that it would scare children, that he didn’t know me like he thought he did, and we obviously weren’t as compatible as he thought we were. He said he couldn’t believe I didn’t call him to talk this over, that I didn’t consider him in regards to this, that I didn’t think of him at all. That if he were to kiss me or make love to me he would always have to look at my tattoo. He wished me the best and now we’re broken up.
So, AITA for not asking him if I should get this tattoo before just doing it?
Their Husband Is Upset They Aren’t Doing Anything For Christmas
From Redditor u/NoChristmas2022:
So I’m a stay-at-home mom with three kids. My husband works full time and gets an okay salary, but he’s tightened the grip on spending for the past four months to be able to save up to go watch the football event overseas. He’s literally obsessed with anything to do with football. He said he rarely ever gets to do what he wants and so I didn’t want to judge him since it’s his money eventually.
We discussed plans for Christmas and he told me to handle everything since he won’t be back till December 20. He told me he had put aside money for Christmas decoration, food, gifts, kids’ needs, etc. The money in total was $100. I was completely shocked. I told him $100 for an entire family’s Christmas celebration was ridiculously not enough. He shrugged, saying it’s all he’s got, but I pointed out how he’s paying for his friend’s and his girlfriend’s travel expenses. He told me to just “take it,” but I said that if he decided to leave me with just 100 bucks then I won’t be doing anything for Christmas. We had lots of arguments and couldn’t get this resolved.
He’s in Qatar now (he left days ago). Yesterday, while I was cleaning I found an envelope with the same $100 and a note from him telling me “to make it work.” I sent him a message that I’ve decided that I won’t be doing anything for Christmas with this little money, period. He was livid; he just kept sending [one] angry message after another calling me “spoiled” and telling me to stop expecting to live like I was still living in my parents’ house, and to stop trying to “rob” the kids of enjoying the holidays like the other kids.
I haven’t replied, but he’s livid, saying I’m punishing him for going and trying to guilt him using his own money.