Woman Wonders If She’s in the Wrong for Refusing to Work Thanksgiving So Her Coworker Can Take Off to Be With Her Kids

A woman has found herself in a dilemma after refusing to work on Thanksgiving so that her colleague could spend the holiday with her kids.

In a post on Reddit’s “Am I the A——?” forum, the woman, 28, began by explaining that she is newly engaged and has been at her current company for a little over two years. She said that while she loves her job, the “one downside” is that staff is needed “365 days a year” — meaning it’s “common to work on holidays.”

This year, the Reddit user shared that she is scheduled to work on Christmas but have Thanksgiving off, noting this will mark her first holiday off since starting the job and that she is excited to spend the day with her fiancé and future in-laws.

However, her plans are bumping up against an unofficial company rule.

There is “an informal expectation that individuals without kids will cover those shifts so parents can celebrate with their families,” she wrote, adding, “People at work especially seem to care about moms being home with their children.”

She then shared that a coworker, “June,” recently approached her and asked if she would cover her Thanksgiving shift so that she could spend the day with her children.

“I was a bit upset, since I’ve been looking forward to celebrating with my family, fiancé, and future in-laws this year,” the woman admitted.

“[June] said that her daughters deserve to have their mom with them on Thanksgiving. I suggested celebrating the holiday on a later date with her family because I wasn’t going to be covering for her. June was annoyed, and said I was breaking the informal code of the office.”

The Reddit user then brought the issue up with an older mentor at the office who has children of her own, noting that her mentor sided with June.

“I said [to my mentor] that the expectation isn’t fair, since June was the one who decided to have kids and also chose an intense line of work where she sometimes has to work holidays,” she continued. “Additionally, it’s unfair that individuals who chose not to have children are penalized for the decisions of others and are expected to always work holidays.”

The mentor remained firm in her stance, telling the original poster (OP) that she “may think about it differently” one day should she have children of her own.

“I’m pretty clear about the fact that when I decide to have kids, I won’t expect my co-workers to pay the price for that decision,” the OP argued.

“I’m alright with sacrificing my time to help the general public, but I don’t think I should be pressured into working every holiday so my co-workers can be with the kids THEY brought into this world,” she added, inviting fellow Redditors to weigh in on whether she is in the wrong in this situation.

The post received more than 3,500 comments, with most people siding firming with the OP.

“NTA [not the a——]. Everyone deserves to celebrate holidays with family, kids or no kids,” one person wrote. “June can deal with working Thanksgiving. You already have plans and that’s the answer. ‘June, this is my first holiday off and I’ve made plans to celebrate with my family.’ “

Another commented, “Take your scheduled vacation day and enjoy your first blended holiday with your fiancé and in-laws and family. Nobody gets to decide that their family is more important than your own.”

Someone else wondered, “What will be the case for a couple who can’t have kids? Shoved in her face every year that she is not worthy?”

Yet another person wrote, “You are someone’s kid and your parents want to spend the holiday with their kid.”

Others agreed that the office’s informal rule is unfair.

“The ‘informal policy’ was set in place by parents who pushed, guilted and bullied people without kids to a point where it’s now an expectation. This type of practice creates a hostile work environment, and really needs to be nipped in the bud!” one person wrote.

“Everyone took that job with eyes wide open as to the demand it would take on their time,” they added.

Another commented, “Take your scheduled vacation day and enjoy your first blended holiday with your fiancé and in-laws and family. Nobody gets to decide that their family is more important than your own.”

Someone else wondered, “What will be the case for a couple who can’t have kids? Shoved in her face every year that she is not worthy?”

Yet another person wrote, “You are someone’s kid and your parents want to spend the holiday with their kid.”

Others agreed that the office’s informal rule is unfair.

“The ‘informal policy’ was set in place by parents who pushed, guilted and bullied people without kids to a point where it’s now an expectation. This type of practice creates a hostile work environment, and really needs to be nipped in the bud!” one person wrote.

“Everyone took that job with eyes wide open as to the demand it would take on their time,” they added.