“Zero Regrets”: 30 People In Their 30s And 40s Get Honest About Being Childfree

34. It’s like your 20’s but back pain and money to enjoy your hobbies.

37, happily married, happily childfree. Not having kids was the best thing we ever did. Working full time it already feels like we barely get enough free time to ourselves, I can’t imagine spending it taking care of a kid.

Finally, the author shared what he thought of the replies to his post. “I was actually surprised, I mean I expected that there will be some response in favor of this view, not the majority though,” Meizcathooman said. “But guess what, almost 90% of the comments are about enjoying being kids free. It felt good to see people out there living a good life without kids.”

“There were many surprises, all sorts of stories about how some people had this view from a young age, and some changed when they met their partner. So many heartwarming stories too!” the author added. “I thoroughly enjoyed each and every comment, [whether they shared a positive] experience or not.”

41. My life is awesome. A couple years ago I picked up and moved across country.

I saw one of my favorite bands on Friday night, then Saturday morning went mountain biking with some friends. Then Sunday I slept in, got stoned all day while watching dumb movies and spent a bunch of time with my dog.

I have never been in a situation where I thought “this would be better with a child”.

Amazing of course, but to each their own. I personally cannot understand why anyone would want children. I don’t have a paternal bone in my body, except for my four legged friend. My fiancé and I can do what we want, when we want, I just cannot imagine bringing up children. I am very capable and would make a responsible dad, I just simply have NO interest, at least in this lifetime. People may say, ‘well who will look after you when you’re very old’ however there is no guarantee for those with kids. In fact it probably ensures I take much better care of myself with older age in mind, that there is a high chance I will be alone, but aren’t we all, at the end of the day.

I’m in my 30’s and childfree, honestly, I couldn’t be happier with the decision. My life feels so full. I’ve been able to travel, focus on my career and dive into hobbies that bring me joy. I love the freedom to plan my days exactly how I want, wether it’s spontaneous weekend getaway or just enjoying some quiet time with my partner or pets.. that’s not to say I don’t occasionally wonder about the future like who will take care of me when I’m older. But those thoughts are fleeting because I know I made this choice intentionally. I’ve built a life that feels meaningful and true to who I am and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Being a childfree has given me the space to grow, experience and live fully in my terms.

I’m 35 and married, no children by choice. When I see my friends with children it’s lovely, I love being an auntie, but I really value my freedom. I don’t know if that makes me selfish but I don’t think I’d be a great mom so why put a kid through that? I don’t feel like I’m missing something or that there’s an empty piece of my life in any way. I get to work, enjoy whatever hobbies I like, travel without kid stress. I have 2 cats and a dog and that’s enough responsibility for me!

Edit to clarify the ‘selfish’ comment – I mean selfish in that I am not giving my mom the grandchildren she so badly desires. But reading these comments helps me to know I’m not selfish in this decision so thank you all 🤍.

I work, hike, volunteer, do hobbies, maintain my house, and rest.

I’m happy with it. I never wanted to be a mother and I still don’t. I couldn’t imagine my life _with_ kids. I’m glad I don’t have to worry about a child when bad things have happened to me in the past and future, too.

I want to suck out the marrow of life and try every little thing I can, every hobby, every country, every experience.  
If I had a kid, rightfully, they’d be the center of my world. And I would forever be on the knifes edge trying to provide for us both. 
I love the concept of having a tribe to come home to, as someone else phrased it. But unless you’re especially energetic, rich, or lucky, that world doesn’t exist anymore. So – what? What will you sacrifice to make it a reality? Because having kids is very much a sacrifice anymore, a frustrating and expensive one that may or may not pay off. 
I had a friend that his parents poured their life into. Expensive family vacations, private school, yada yada. He died on a fentanyl overdose two years ago. All he did was bring pain to his family. Having kids is no guarantee that you’ll have a loving family.

Married, no kids. It’s great.

We’ve got two cats. They’re pretty cool when they’re not being tiny terrorists.

Taking care of myself, pets and a husband is enough responsibility for me. So glad with my choice. I’d be miserable otherwise.

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Very happy. Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends’ kiddos. But I’m glad I get to hand them back to their parents and move on with my day.

I’ve watched good, solid relationships be ruined by the stress of having kids. I’ve watched people fall into financial trouble from having kids.

Some people want to take that risk, or the reward of having children is worth it to them. That’s their choice and I will help any way I can.

But I’m a big no on the having kids myself front.

Honestly I cannot imagine having to plan every aspect of your life around a kid.

Also, kids ruin practically everything (such as planes, restaurants, theatre shows, quiet public spaces etc).

I absolutely don’t regret it. It was the right call for me as well as any “potential children”.

I’m someone who would have had a child to feel like I had a family. Someone that was my family and that thought did occur to me a few times over the years. But it would have been selfish and led to misery, for everyone.

Then I look at the news see what’s happening to our civilization and I KNOW I made the right choice.

I’m torn. There’s a deep want in me to have a kid. However, I don’t know if I’d want to bring another soul into this world to suffer. It’d be very selfish on my part. Although everyone has always told me I’d be a good mother, I think, for now, that love will go to my dog, my nieces and nephew, my partner, and my friends.

Living the dream: sleep, travel, brunch, repeat. No regrets here!

40 y/o here.

So so happy. all my friends come to me they are exhausted and do nothing but vent. I get to go to nice restaurants whenever I like – for them it’s a logistical nightmare.

I’m 44 and my husband is 48. We’ve been together for 27 years. He was indifferent to having kids but was happy to if I wanted them, and I thought we’d have kids but was undecided for a very long time.

We got to 2019 and thought if we’re going to do it, we better do it now. We tried for exactly 2 menstrual cycles. Leading up to my period was terrifying, and we were both incredibly relieved when it didn’t work. That alone was telling.

Then Metallica announced a tour with Slipknot to Australia (which got cancelled) and Slipknot announced their Knotfest by Sea Cruise ship festival in Spain (also cancelled) and we realised we were not going to be able to go to things like that anymore. The cost aside, I would have been pregnant or with an infant so it was not going to be possible.

We stopped trying after that and haven’t regretted it so far. We go to concerts frequently and travel a bit. Since 2019 we’ve built our dream home, my husband got the garage he’s always wanted with a hoist, and I got my natural swim pond.

There are children in our lives by way of nieces, nephews and friends kids and that’s enough for us. We had friends over a few weeks ago and they brought their two pre-schoolers with them. They were great kids but a handful – our house is not kid proof, we had to lock a room so they wouldn’t get into my collectables which look like toys to them, and one of them turned all the dials on my husbands welder that he’d spent time setting up for a project he was working on. Again, great kids, but exhausting. When they left my husband and I bumped fists, just quietly celebrating our choice. I really admire people who have kids, but it’s not for me.

37 here and absolutely loving my decision. I travel whenever I want, my home is a peaceful sanctuary, and I’ve built an amazing career in marketing without juggling mom duties. Sure, my parents still bug me about grandkids, but I just send them pictures of my succulents instead. Zero regrets!

I’m 48f and childfree; not really a conscious choice, just never happened and I’m okay with that. Honestly, I lack the energy and patience to handle parenting anyway. I’m a proud Auntie of 4 nieces & nephews, who I love dearly and have been fairly involved in their lives. I have my pets to keep me company, and the money (from not raising kids) to pay for elder care if/when the time comes.

I love my freedom! I can do what I want when I want, for the most part, and enjoy traveling on my own. In fact, I’m going on a solo cruise + trip to Europe next spring. Can’t wait. :-).

31 year old.
Here are things I wouldn’t have been able to do had I decided to have children:

1) Managed to move into other country on my own.
2) Found a great workplace.
3) Educated myself and been upgrading my professional knowledge through many courses (which would have been impossible with kids).
4) Healed my past wounds through therapy.
5) Visited exotic countries.
6) Spent many peaceful and lovely afternoon naps with my partner
7) Saved money so I can have a car of my own.

I basically left my toxic circumstances, educated myself, earned money, did meaningful investments, met the love of my life…

And I will continue to do courses and be exceptionally professional.
I will continue to be there for people.
I will do whatever pleases my heart… Without children.
Because being a mother wouldn’t please me.
My partner, friends, my grandmother, my colleagues, animals fill my heart with joy and happiness.

I am actually very proud of myself that I managed to buy my first car ever. It’s such a relief and it made me realise that I would have probably been a struggling mom who would have to go back to work when the child is 1 year old.
And I don’t think I can do that to a child.

I’m in my late 30’s If I have kids, I cannot retire in a few years, cannot travel, cannot have toys. Having Kids takes so much away. Life is short, I refuse to be bound by walls.

Now if I won the lottery, I would adopt 10 kids…because I have the means to do everything.

My life is awesome. I have a kick a*s partner, weekends to myself and I’m picking up new skills and trying to break into new careers.

Currently hand sculpting my own little range of fantasy miniatures as well as writing a graphic novel, even have an artist for it who’s done a few pages.

My life is amazing.

Overall, yes – I am at peace with this decision. I am infertile so, options for having children that aren’t the “natural” way are extremely expensive. As a result of this infertility and the associated costs of adoption, IVF, etc – I lost the woman I loved because she wanted children. That was difficult to bear for a long time. However, when I consider the *cost* of everything associated with raising children and the reality that I would likely be working myself to death or living in or close to poverty, it puts my mind at ease.

I ran into a friend at the grocery store this weekend. He as three children ages 8 months, 5 and 7 – they spend $1200/month just on childcare. That’s the equivalent of a second mortgage payment ***every single month***. I asked him how they do it and he said they’re barely hanging on. I couldn’t live with that sort of financial anxiety all the time.

Add in emergencies, medical issues, extracurriculars, climate change, the risk of gun violence, etc. Wages overall remain stagnant, inflation continues to rise… Then consider the cost of sending a child to college without setting them up for a lifetime of financial hardship due to student loans, the possibility that they will be living with you long term due to the job market, et al. It just seems totally unfeasible to me to raise children with a quality of life they deserve without working yourself to death.